what love is, and what love is not...
welcome to...
the laws of love
The Laws of Love Universe <3
Mission
Learn...
--> what love is
--> what love is not...
Manifesto
Manifesto coming soon...
THE LAWS OF LOVE [PART 1: inner work, natural fit, etc]
Law #1
Find your natural fit
- filter through your values, etc <3
Know Thyself (yourself):
--> have a clear sense of your values, etc
But first, you must have a complete sense of self and begin inner work to understand thyself -- see law #3 :)
Start from wholeness → You choose from abundance, not desperation.
You filter ruthlessly on natural fit and values because you don’t need the relationship to complete you.
You can walk away cleanly when it’s not right, because your happiness isn’t on the line.
You attract (and recognize) healthier connections because you’re not projecting your golden shadow onto others as strongly.
Natural fit --> natural fit *for you*
Status --> irrelevant
what matters is...do you like this?
- person
- career
- industry / field
- group
irrelevant to status games, etc
Is this person;
- a perfect fit
- a values match
- what you like
- what multiplies your wholeness (1x1)
- when choosing from abundance
Law #2
go where you're valued <3
Wrong environment/person:
-
Insecure
-
They will abuse you
-
Make you feel like you’re not enough
-
You’re undervalued
The right environment/person:
-
Values you
-
You feel valued
-
You don’t have to “force” them to treat you well, apologize, etc–it just naturally happens
-
Your value is seen without you even having to try
Step 1: reclaim your golden shadow
When you meet your golden shadow, it is not them who you like — oftentimes, you’re projecting.
This projection also leaves you vulnerable to disappointment when the idealization inevitably breaks (try not to idealize in the first place!)
The golden shadow is not just about falling in love with others.
It’s about falling back in love with the parts of yourself you once left behind.
The goal is not to be with the golden one — but to become the golden one you were always meant to be.
Law #3
1/2 x 1/2 = 1/4
0.5 × 0.5 = 0.25
Two incomplete people trying to “complete” each other only compound each other’s lack. In insecure love, halves don’t complete each other — they shrink each other.
1 × 1 = 1
Two whole people multiply their completeness. They don’t complete each other — they expand each other. Secure love preserves wholeness.
INNER WORK DEEP DIVE <3
*inner work*
*goes deep on becoming whole first <3*
*goes deep on the inner work*
--> go deeper into inner work
--> interdependence, not codependence, etc <3
WARNING:
Love is not:
Wounding / trauma bonds → you’ll keep attracting / being attracted to the same kinds of ppl until your wounds are healed, and you feel lovable…
Law #4
love is genuine connection, not status driven or envy
The Golden Shadow Version (Envy-Driven)
• You see someone who embodies unlived parts of yourself
• There’s a lack narrative underneath: “I’m not confident/successful/free/put-together enough”
• You’re attracted to them because they have what you don’t
• The envy is the tell—you resent that they “get to be” this way while you’re stuck
• It feels like love but it’s actually a projection of your own potential onto them
• You want to date them to borrow their wholeness, or become them to finally have it yourself
• The relationship (if it happens) is transactional on your end: they’re a vehicle for your self-completion
The Genuine Connection Version (No Envy)
• You’re drawn to them specifically, not to what they represent
• There’s no lack narrative—you’re relatively integrated, not running on empty
• You can admire their qualities without it triggering envy or the sense that you’re missing something essential
• You want to be with them, not like them
• Even if they had none of those aspirational qualities, you’d still want them (or at least it wouldn’t be the driver)
• You’re not trying to extract their confidence/success/aesthetic into your own gap
• The envy is absent because you’re not comparing yourself to them; you’re just… seeing them
Why This Changes Everything
The key insight: The presence or absence of envy is the diagnostic tool.
If you feel envy when thinking about them—that sharp pang of “why do they get to be like that”—that’s the golden shadow talking. You’re not actually attracted to them; you’re attracted to the mirror they’re holding up of your own unlived potential.
If there’s no envy, just appreciation and draw? That’s different. That’s actual desire for connection.
When someone wants someone else to *like* them
Not for the sake of being together per se
But as in
If [X] likes me, I am worthy
That’s still
Hm
Validation based
Not true connection / love
The person isn’t whole yet ^
/ secure yet
Oh!! Also
For some ppl it’s status based / like a trophy thing
Imagining themselves w the person publically for example
Means
U don’t like em
U wanna borrow status from em
All these are deeply deeply unconscious ^^^
Hmmmmm
Signs the person needs to do inner work / be secure etc ^
Until someone feels completely whole within themselves
And also
Does the inner work
For example
If someone likes ppl who are very different from them
That’s like
Self hatred
(If they like the person bc they solely are different or smth)
(When it’s not abt complementarity per se ^)
This is a specific kind of thing ^
real love is connection, not status or envy:
beware of attraction to status:
this is why the person likes you:
-> it's a trophy to them
go deep ^^^
love: genuine connection
meaning: presence > performativity
Law #5
choose from abundance & self-security, not scarcity <3
choosing from scarcity;
- you don't feel like you're enough
- personas / seduction, etc
Law #6
abc
Law #2: Mathematics
The Mathematics of Love (Clean Write-Out)
0.5 × 0.5 = 0.25
Two incomplete people trying to “complete” each other only compound each other’s lack. In insecure love, halves don’t complete each other — they shrink each other.
1 × 1 = 1
Two whole people multiply their completeness. They don’t complete each other — they expand each other. Secure love preserves wholeness.
0.5 × 1 = 0.5
When one insecure person pairs with a secure person, the relationship becomes only as stable as the less complete partner.
The secure person (1) doesn’t lose their wholeness internally, but the relationship itself cannot rise above the 0.5.
In practice, this usually leads to the secure partner becoming the emotional regulator, the therapist, or the stabilizer — and the relationship orbits around insecurity.
Over time, this dynamic tends to make both partners feel insecure, because:
-
the insecure partner fears abandonment
-
the secure partner fears collapse or resentment
The relationship becomes defined by compensation, not co-creation.
The 0.25 Case in Reverse
0.25 × 0.25 = 0.0625
This is when two deeply wounded or traumatized people try to merge for survival. This is the core of trauma-bonding and chaotic attachment. The relationship consumes more energy than either partner has to give.
Love is not "you complete me"
Love is “you either multiply or divide me.”
The relationship becomes:
-
multiplicative when both are whole
-
fractional when neither is
-
compensatory when one is whole and the other isn’t
Love is multiplicative, not additive.
Which is why:
Two halves don’t make a whole — they make a quarter.
And why...
Two wholes don’t fuse — they resonate.
1 + 1 > 2
When two whole people love each other, the relationship doesn’t merely sustain — it overflows. It produces surplus:
-
creativity
-
generosity
-
laughter
-
art
-
growth
-
children (literal or metaphorical)
-
culture
-
legacy
-
impact
That’s the generative love vs. the survival love.
And that’s the part genius people always feel but never had the language for until this model.
THE LAWS OF LOVE [PART 2: building]
Law #13
5:1
positive to negative
(just an idea rn <3)
Mission
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THE LAWS OF LOVE [PART 3: xyz]
Vision
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THE LAWS OF LOVE [PART 4/4: ABC]
Mission
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Vision
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